Yday's lesson

One people asked me.Why heme onco.

mula2,rasa nak ambik neonatology or endocrinology .

Tapi lama2 rasa,semua pediatrician should know endocrine and neonatology but not necessarily heme oncology.

moreover..ko rasa tak bila ko pilih sesuatu, it's just that u feel that u can do well in this particular subject.

thats how i feel.(tak angkat bakul,aku takde kata aku pandai pun tau,tp aku rasa boleh lahh..)takde la suka gila subject ni sampai boleh baca buku je kerjanya(benda aku paling suka adalah do nothing..haha) tapi dalam masa yg sama takdelah benci..

i was also inspired by my teacher,Prof Mahmoud Ayesh yang comel,the soft hearted Prof Hamidah,and my current hardworking boss.

All of them are my teachers.they are people with lots of empathy and definitely kuat gila ingatan.

boleh tak,dia boleh ingat counts budak tu exactly berapa..they must be very focus..

sebenarnya semalam,a patient collapse with massive upper GI bleed following FLag Ida chemo.it was when i was about to prepare to go back..

this boy named Daris.one significant thing about him apart from his high pitch cry calling ibu..ibu..ibu. also his crankiness when he is having high grade fever .tapi bila dia sihat,he is a sweet boy.

he is always saying:ibu,janganlah..adik nk tido..jgnla mandi,adik nak tido..(previously,i couldnt really hear what he was saying.. yesterday when i was doing my work near to his room..i clearly can hear what he said.)

i woke up midnight,reading messages in the group and this morning..he deteriorating further.

I hope he can pull through sbb tak sampai hati tgk mak dia..sabar sgt .sgt sabar..

His mother is definitely educated and well off person,I can see that her clothes are branded..she sometimes speaks english without pantai timur accent on the phone at the same time she mingles well with other people.

(hehe.btw...aku ni kurang asam betul,somehow dah duduk  sini 2 bulan,aku dah boleh tau dah org ni local duduk luar lama ke tak..or mmg local jrg keluar)..

i have no offense against org pantai timur..tapi kurang sikit berkenan..tapi tak affect kehidupan pun..mcm lah org suka sgt kat aku pun kan .tah pape aku ni.

please pray for daris.give her mother strength to go through this trial.

and for me, i hope that i can do well in my study,jadi org lebih baik, emotionally stable and be more reserved.

compare last year..this year aku rasa aku lagi reserve..mungkin sbb the first term aku rasa aku at  one of the lowest point of my life.kalau boleh,aku taknak org tau aku buat apa ..sebab aku dh pernah jumpa org tak suka aku for nothing .tak lain kemungkinan sebab dia dengki lah(dorg takleh bg reason kenapa tak suka aku .haha)

tak peduli lah..ko tahu tak, aku adalah org yg akan unfollow org yg pelik dkt fb,akan buang phone number org yg aku rasa dah tak significant and org yg aku benci..

mmg manusia kena ada perangai memaafkan org lain .tapi benda tu mcm terlalu sedih untuk diingati..so,no .. aku takkan maafkan.

oklah,banyak kerja nak buat lagi.minit mesyuarat,lipat kain kemas rumah,basuh keter .lepas tu nak qadha tido..esok oncall lagi..tapi passive..🥴

sekian journal jumaat pg saya😂