Reaching end

It is now 2.06 am in the morning,on 29th night of Ramadhan.

Intan texted me,one of her friend passed away in Canada alone,in his house due to covid 19.He was self isolating.

this news made me remember what I saw today morning.

I passed thru a medical ward before 8am.it was a quiet morning,nobody in the hallway except 4 people, around my parent's age standing in the hallway.

though they didn't cry or weep,u know that a death just happened.maybe their mother.i saw 3 nurses doing their job with closed curtain in the acute cubicle.possible that bed belonged to their mother's. last place,Allah took her breath away.

kdg,terfikir,mcm mana kita akan pergi.takut sebenarnya mati.kalau keluarga kita mati,or kita mati,mcm mana rasa sunyi nanti sorg2 and takde siapa boleh tlg kita.

bila dgr psl kematian, automatically,ko rasa ko tak layak nak bercerita  psl benda yg ko takda lagi pdhal ko tak buat yg terbaik lagi dalam hidup ko untuk apa yg ko ada.

rasa sunyi tkde partner adalah benda yg  sendiri rasa,manageable. because it comes and goes. dh get used to it..and ko ada ramai kawan sama mcm ko..haha.(biasala,ini issue middle age,who doesnt have this right.😅)

tapi sunyi sbb kematian,adalah satu benda baru yg ko tahu takkan jumpa dah..(aku fikir pon aku tak sanggup nak hadapi.)

ramadhan is reaching the end,one thing aku seriously minta utk tahun ni adalah ketenangan,keep me calm and composed.aku harap aku jd better person everyday,and kalau aku tak jumpa Ramadhan tahun dpn,moga aku dapat husnul khatimah.

okla,another 2 hours for sahur,i should sleep for now.moga aku bertemu dgn ramadhan tahun depan.Insya Allah,Amin.

p/s:hallway ni,nama je laluan utama, kdg2 dia takde org,bila kita lalu,rasa sunyi.ko tahu la,peraaaan sunyi,bukan sunyi yg senyap tu..😑