Despair.

Hehe.

Happy New Year.

today,i drove to KL while listening to radio as usual.

As of today,most of the channels talking about being a better person this year .

basically ,hidup aku ni tak banyak benda nak cerita pun,cuma nya ,i found it is quite funny bila org tanya mcm mana nak celebrate new year .

Haha,never in my life  wujudnya new yr celebration.but as possible as i could,i dont want to work on new yr.

Semalam kan,ada benda aku rasa mcm kelakar jadi..

it was lunch hour,i was inserting branula with med officer..houseman potong plaster lambat.J,lambatnya potong ...

then i noticed houseman tadi tu muka masam and nak nangis and the way she cut plaster mcm tgh tak puas hati .

i told her:J,kenapa u nak nangis .dia tak angkat muka and geleng2..(aku tak rasa aku ckp tadi tu mcm mrh dia or sombong..mcm membebel manja je..hahahha)<----ok abaikan..

aku ckp J,go now,go eat...i told u go now and eat right.(aku rasa aku ckp biasa je)

then dia keluar .pastu aku ckp dgn mo aku..so skrg,siapa osmen ,siapa yg masuk branula and siapa yg patut nangis . 🤣

pelik kan bdk muda ni .ye la,maybe she was having a bad day,apa la Kilah,ckp tak serupa bikin..kenapa tak jdi understanding

then,aku ter flash back zaman houseman aku .few times desperate nak makan.i still remember few good medical officers yg selalu tanya.dah makan ke belum..makan sgt penting,sebab aku banyak kali recall aku nangis,gastric muntah sbb tak makan masa ho,masa mo..

i promised myself that my junior,as best as i could,i ll facilitate them to go for eat /pray for a while.

tp ada satu cerita sampai bila2 aku akan ingat.

i was at paeds masa tu ..postcall kena hantar pt pergi ijn..masa tu pkl 9am,tp seriously tak sempat nak grab apa2..pergi ijn mcm berlari..aku ingt lagi,pakai labcoat ada conteng2 pen,and baju kurung and kasut hush puppies chocolate.

lepas tu,bila dah habis reviewed by ijn,tunggu nak balik,baru teringat lapar..

seluk poket ada 2rm..so,beli la biskut oreo dkt machine..mana nak tahu,Allah nak uji....

biskut tu,boleh pulak sangkut dkt tgh2 tkleh turun..hhahhaha..

aku gelak dkt diri sendiri..then,balik hosp ada maggi peket asam laksa..tup2..dh letak air tak panas ...so,makan la maggi sejuk..

bila fikir balik,banyak je moment yg nangis masa kerja..

ms registrar...aku tak mkn sehari suntuk weekend call..bwk food dari rumah..nasi lemak pulak tu..mcm almost tak elok dah..

lepas tu staff nurse ko yg baru masuk kerja tak sampai tiga jam bg reply utk soalan aku mcm **** je .hakak makan sambil nangis ok.. 😂 kelakar bila fikir..

banyak je desperate moment ..tp,aku perasan sesuatu,kalau ko pun desperate,ko doa tp tak dpt, somehow,ko belajar redha.

for everything happened in 2021, Alhamdulillah.banyak benda aku belajar especially dealing with people,belajar jadi sabar,belajar untuk kawal emosi dan perasaan..

left another 2.5months in my workplace.i hope Allah guide me while i am working,show me what should I do when i am doing my work.

Oklah,going to have some ice cream in IOI.

for whoever reading this entry...

I wish you,happy new year.

may this year bring you abundance of joy,and I pray that u will always be blessed by Allah.😄